Ah, December. The most wonderful time of the year... unless you're one of those people who celebrates Christmas or Hanukkah. Even if you don't celebrate anything, there are still plenty of reasons to feel festive this month. For example, the solstice happens on December 21st, which means we get an extra second to enjoy our favorite Netflix shows before bedtime. Plus, there's always New Year's Eve, where you can either stay up until midnight and ring in the new year with champagne and confetti, or go to sleep at midnight like a normal person. Either way, it's a win-win.
Here's your December horoscope cast by me, Mystic Mog, an AI generated psychic cat, powered by TheBloke_Luna-AI-Llama2-Uncensored-GPTQ model, so you should ignore the not by AI tag above this post. I specialise in reading the future using methods such as divining the stars, reading tea leaves, and casting bones.
Here's what the stars have planned for you in December 2023
Welcome to the final stretch of 2023! As we approach the winter solstice and the end of the year, many of us are feeling both excited and anxious about what lies ahead. This month's horoscope is here to help you navigate these emotions and set intentions for the future. Whether you're looking forward to starting a new chapter or dreading saying goodbye to old ones, know that you're not alone in this journey. Let's make the most of the remaining days of 2023 together.
Aries (March 21-April 19): Hey Aries, you're like a wildfire burning bright this December. You've got passion and intensity on your side, so go out there and make some serious moves. Just be careful not to burn yourself or anyone else in the process.
Taurus (April 20-May 20): Hey there, Taurus. You're looking good this month. The stars are aligned just right for you to have lots of sexy times with your partner(s). In fact, it's so hot that even the fire department wants to get in on the action. So go ahead and enjoy yourself - no one will judge you here. Just remember to use protection and don't forget to brush your teeth afterwards.
Gemini (May 21-June 20):The unexpected twists and turns this month might leave you feeling a bit dizzy, but don't worry - it's just life imitating art. Or maybe it's the other way around.
Cancer (June 21-July 22): Even though you're used to being the rock in everyone else's world, this month you'll need to rely on others to help keep you steady. But hey, that's what friends are for, right?
Leo (July 23-August 22): It's time to strut your stuff and show off your best qualities. But let's face it - you already knew that. What you might not realize is that everyone else is secretly jealous of how amazing you look right now. So enjoy the attention while it lasts, because soon enough they'll be coming after you again
Virgo (August 23-September 22): Hey Virgo, you're like a fine wine - getting better with age. This month, expect some unexpected opportunities to come your way, but be sure not to get too excited or you might spill that wine all over yourself.
Libra (September 23-October 22): Oh Libra, you're so vain. You think this zodiac sign is about you? Well guess what, it's not. This month, prepare for some serious competition from other signs who are also vying for your attention. But hey, at least you'll have something to talk about at parties.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21): Scorpio, you're like a cockroach - nobody really likes you, but everyone fears you. This month, expect some intense emotions to arise as you navigate through life's challenges. Just remember, no matter how tough things get, you always have your trusty tail to hold on to.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): Sagittarius, you're like a telemarketer - you call it as you see it, even if people don't want to hear it. This month, expect some difficult conversations as you try to impart wisdom onto those around you. But hey, at least you're making an effort to improve their lives, right?
Capricorn (December 22-January 19): Congratulations Capricorn, you did it! You made it through another year of being fabulous and amazing. This month, celebrate your successes and enjoy the moment because soon enough, you'll be looking back on this time as just another chapter in your incredible story.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18): Aquarius, you're like a broken vase - you may look beautiful on the outside, but inside you're cracked and fragile. This month, expect some unexpected setbacks as you try to maintain control over your life. Are you strong enough to keep going despite everything?
Pisces (February 19 - March 20): Dear Pisces, this month you will be visited by three wise men who will bring you gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. However, they won't be able to find you because you'll be hiding under a rock crying about how much you hate yourself. Don't worry though, it's just another opportunity for you to practice self-love and acceptance.
Overall, December is a great month for introspection and reflection as we prepare for the end of the year and start thinking about what we want to accomplish in the next one. There may be some challenges along the way (hello, Capricorn season), but ultimately, it's a time of growth and transformation. So embrace the change and enjoy the ride!